what now?

music and lyrics...

Lala Lala la la
Mmmmmm mmm
You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world
Full of wrong
Your the thing thats right
Finally made it
Through the lonely
To the other side

You set it again
My hearts in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
Im at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And Im in love
And Im terrifed
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life
Life

This could be good
Its already better than that
And nothings worse
Than knowing your holding back
I could be all that you need
If you let me try

You set it again
My hearts in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
Im at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And Im in love
And Im terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life

I only said it 'cause I mean it
Oh I only mean it
'Couse its true
So dont you tear
What I've been dreaming
'Couse it keeps me up
And holds me close
Whenever Im without you

You set it again
My hearts in motions
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
Im at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark
And Im in love
And Im terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life
Life, life
In my only life

simply... lovely.

sometimes, I just want to live a life.

a happy life.

but what are we looking for now,

the ultimate happiness or simply instantaneous ones??

what is the purpose of life...for one to go through all the highs and lows, ups and downs, nonetheless, hurting or being hurt by people....

what's the ultimate purpose of all these things, i mean afterall, we all embrace our afterlife, right?

I dont know, I just want to be happy.

Will dream on until reality hits.

:(

oh well, maybe it's now.

bye, chem. Hello english.

you never know...

it's been at least 3 weeks since your birthday...

it's been at least 3 weeks since it all happened.

I have been trying to heal myself from that point.

It worked quite well.

I think I am alright now.

It was really ackward last night. Between you and me.

Maybe I was oversensitive,,,

but I really want to know how you feel,
cause not talking about it definitely doesn't help. at all.

I thought we were chasing after the same goal,

but seems like you've changed your ideals ages ago.

Don't leave me alone in this battlefield.

I can't hold on any longer.

Maybe I sound all right,

But you never know, sometimes,

how your smile still makes me weak

how your words still echo in my brain

how your actions still affect my emotions...

Why is love so hard to find?

Don't feel bad because it happened this way.

Feel happy because it happened.

(secretly hoping that things will turn out the way I want them to be..)

b.

Been feeling out of place today. Exams are half done and the feeling of screwing up most of my papers aren't very nice. Well, except for maths. hopefully. Was at my worst on wednesday, I charged back into my room and just cried till tears wouldn't fall and fears wouldn't overwhelm my whole existence.

That was when I told myself, I HAVE TO STAY STRONG.

Frankly speaking, I wasn't all good at controlling my emotions, but for some reasons I can hide my true feelings in front of most of the people. I mean they will know if I am happy or pissed, but they won't know it when I feel like the whole world is crashing up on me. That's one good thing about me, I guess, people tend not to worry too much about me as they can or cannot see whether I am all panicky or stressed out, because next minute I am the chirping bird that talks non-stop again.

Oh well, how true was the statement just now?

keep asking, my friends say that my feelings are VERY obvious, it's because when I feel down and moody, I tend not to talk that much.

Oh Well.

:P

it's an addiction...

sunrise, or sunset,,, it depends on how you look at it right?

My forever addiction is to look for lovely photos from all kinds of sources. The one above is just a photo from the world wide web. Photos show a lot, but it truly depends on how you want to interpret them at that moment. Some say photos are meant to carry a meaning, well I say, it's meant to make you find your own interpretations or meanings from them. Photos don't say a thing, you are the one who impose you thoughts and feelings to them when you take it or when you just simply look at it.

***

yay for me, I have just handed in my chinese essay... oopss..twos hours late. :P At least I manage to hand in something. Wasn't been in the mood for working all these oh-so-lovely comparative essay for my IB grade, I guess it's because I was stumbling along the lines of why do I have to make this choice to come to here and all that. But who cares, I am here and I am going to make things work out. yay for me again to have regain my self esteem and confidence...for now.

Well, other than just simply flipping through the pages of my geog notes, my mind keep drifting off to other places, such as my home(-sweet-home) and exotic places that are waiting for me to explore during my 3 months long summer! (:P) Other than that, I am also thinking of some decent work-play-fun summer plans that (hopefully!) will work out.

Oh well, time to get my hand back to all those urban stress... or study stress whatsoever.

will drop by when I need some air.

3 days to go...

the feeling is intense.
I mean it's 3 more days till exam. AHEM. yep 3 more days.
Progress? to be frank...no where near done.


EEEEEEKKKKKKK. ok i am soo freaked out.
bleh.somebody SAVE ME.

The sudden thought.

Just being a little hyped up by the fact that I chose to go swimming yesterday. I guess the happy hormones starts working and is working pretty well.

Been working since eight this morning, fiddled over my pile of geog notes... Sometimes I just wonder why do I have to do all this... I mean I could have gone to some decent unis without having to be working my ass off for exams which are only 4 days down the road. I wanted to escape so badly at that time, but at this point and time I can't help asking myself, is this I place I really want to be? Things are, different. VERY DIFFERENT and it is not something I have expected at first. As time goes by, I come to full realization that humans don't really have free will. The degree of freedom is hindered by things going on around you. There are no such things as NO CONSEQUENCES of your decisions whatsoever.

Can't helping thinking of all this, maybe because of a beautiful nightmare last night?
ma, i miss you. xxx


Guess i will just live the moment until I can see the reasons not too.

that's for it now...b.